It's the gray area.

We don't qualify for benefits.

We don't qualify for programs.

We work our asses off and we can't get anywhere because we're not completely destitute and we're not completely rich.

And that gray area, its like, it get bigger and bigger and bigger.

And I totally believe that, you know, two years ago, I made $65,000, and now I make $6,000.

That's it.

You know, just life.

I had a year straight of, like, everything that could go wrong did go wrong.

I mean, I was kind of slowly unhinging anyway, just from the pressure of everything was I making all the best choices in the world?

Who does?

Was I completely blowing off all regard for my child and not even trying?

Hell no.

Are you texting her dad right now?

Yeah.

One of the local Walmarts now, the one closest with one of the local Walmart got remodeled, and so they're doing some kind of a celebration thing.

Yesterday I spent a couple hours just handing out free grocery bags.

It was really fun, actually Seren?

Yes, Mom.

Oh, my God.

Bubbles, you get bubbles.

I guess this could be the turn.

Can you open this, Dad?

I don't know what the fitting on that looks like.

As far as like the trailer goes, we had our tax refund coming and we had X number dollars and I was pushing hard for us to get a trailer because to me, I saw a roof.

There was a roof over our head.

And so I would not be homeless ever again if I could help it.

Can you open the bubble for me?

Of course I can.

I don't really have to ask until and got the little thing we got to seal off.

My Ph.D. was done at Utah State University.

I had been working as a biologist, and that job did not work out.

- Bubbles!

A lot of other things were going wrong.

And we end up in Saint George, go to the shelter, go to the subsidized housing, lose subsidized housing because the building gets sold.

Have your van stolen so that you have to get $1,000 title home to retrieve your van.

I mean, how am I going to save up to get an apartment house?

I have to have good credit.

Who knows if that will ever happen again.

I mean, I deliver groceries seven days a week.

I'm trying to survive.

- I am very ugly.

And I, like apples.

- Is Gumby your favorite toy.

- Yes, actually, my Hot Wheels.

But we lost most of them at the hotel.

They kicked us out and my dad forgot my stuff and I forgot my stuff.

And they wouldnt let us go back - I don't claim to be a biologist at this point.

I just.

I live in the desert and I take care of Seren - Can I get a kiss?

I mean, that's what I live for.

- That's all I get?

- This is life.

This is in your face, you know, this is life.

But it's hard.

I'll tell you one thing.

If you are already butting heads with your spouse and you're not sure whether you can even stand to live together, you know, it will make it even harder.

Let's go be homeless together.

I'm a handyman.

I ran my own handyman business for probably about 15 years.

Maybe no mechanic.

I've done that before.

I've been a truck mechanic.

I've done that before.

I've done a lot of construction work.

I guess overall, I think I'm a pretty chill guy, you know, I haven't really made a lot of friends that it's not really a lot of people that I want to know.

People suck mostly, like there's a lot of rich people kind of snooty and if you dress right or look right or, you know, you know that you don't need it [inaudible] - No.

I was going to be a dad.

I have I've always wanted a son, especially.

That's really great.

My only friend, I've no friends here, hes my best friend.

I take every opportunity to hang out with him that I can.

[inaudible] - We decided to have Seren, it w people are like, oh that was a mistake, huh?

No.

We planned Seren, We wanted Seren.

we screwed up our other kids, you know, wanted to try to do it right with this one.

Of course, when we had similar circumstances, we're different.

And that would looked like a much better prospect than it does now.

She's pretty faded now, though.

- Adventure!

- What does that say?

- Home is where you make it Very good my mom will drop.

You so you can so you can do the same thing and then.

We live in the dirt and dirt and dust, dirt everywhere and every day we got to bring water and we got to charge a battery for our trailer.

We're not at rock bottom yet, but yeah, it's not easy.

Like crack, right?

Like it's hard on him.

I know it is, its hard.

I'm sure that stuff that hes not letting us know about stuck in there, somewhere, ane will probably affect him later on.

But on the other hand, he's also getting life experiences a lot of people don't get.

Hopefully we don't damage Seren too much before we're able to fix ourselves.

You know, he kind of told me I want a home like everyone else has.

And of course, inside I was breaking a little, but I didn't want him to feel like he was less than one day.

We were actually at the public library for the science fair, which Seren won second place at, and I went upstairs and tried to get a library card.

So as I'm talking to the librarian, they want to see a utility bill.

And I'm going, Oh, I can't make this happen right now.

You know, this seems like kind of a bunch of hoops, you know?

And I was just kind of half joking shooting from the hip and, you know, well, what would a homeless person do?

How is homeless people get library cards?

You know, kinda being a smart ass.

And he says homeless people dont get library cards.

You have to have a physical address.

We need to know where to come to collect the book.

If you don't bring it back.

When's the last time a librarian showed up at your door to collect that book you forgot to return?

I mean, it just started being like dominoes.

All the things we couldn't get because we were homeless.

I think that some portion of it is just because Saint George has gone from being like a small town to being a giant town.

It's growing exponentially, but we're all falling through the cracks because 62 people have to apply for one apartment.

The American dream needs some adjustment to reality.

I mean, realistically, there's only one future that I can see for us if we're going to ever live outside of this trailer.

And it's not in this town and controlling, You know.

When you ask me.

Man, for.

The little thing here right, It doesnt taste so good cause I brushed my teeth, But it still tastes pretty good.

My dad said last Summer living in truck, could you put him up to this to live in Why do you think he should live in the truck?

‘Cause my mom and dad don't get along very well.

Yeah, Skip, don't come back.

What are you doing?

Why are you acting like this?

Because you're taking.

Like you gave him?

He's got to go now.

Please!

Take him!

I can't.

You're fucking taking him for me.

Oh my god.

[Seren crying and screaming] - Its okay, youre only hurting my feelings.

I try to do each other.

I can do a lot of things, with problems.

Great on my own, but it's somebody else's emotions and feelings and stress and, you know, PTSD, depression and all that type of stuff on top of what Ive got going on.

It makes life really hard.

I mean, we love each other.

We definitely love each other.

And we're we both are very much in love with our little boy.

But I think the circumstances, it makes it harder.

- I don't want him to think that what his parents do is way life really is.

I think he'll get it.

Maybe some therapy will help him, with all of this, I'm sure.

sometimes I'm pretty content.

I'm going to have it for a long time and I left a lot for him in the past so I could do it again.

♪You gotta war by yourself No one at all♪ And I'm not I don't really want our ATV's and, you know, three homes and cabins and all that stuff.

I don't care about that.

I'm just want a place to feel, this is where my home is.

I'm comfortable here.

I just want to have a home.

I want to have a decent job.

I want to have a job I can leave my son.

I just want to be content.

You know, everything can be okay.

You know.

Right now.

We got to make it work until it works, go with that, Got your nose!

I got your nose!

Your ear!

You make me pretty happy, mister Hey, we got to go.

[inaudible] Sounds like Mom Is home.

[inaudible]