- I have received a letter from Mother Mildred and I quote, "Sister Veronica came to the order in perfect health and has had no serious illnesses, hospitalization or surgeries in the intervening years.

Her propensity, the tactical falsehoods however, remains an enduring flaw."

- She's saying, I tell fibs, isn't she?

- Yes.

She is.

- I never do it lightly.

I do penance every single time but sometimes embellishment is such a useful tool.

- Suggesting the order purchase a car for you is not embellishment.

It's highway robbery.

- Part of my remit as health visitor is to convince the people of Poplar to embrace everything that's positive, modern and new.

I can't do that on a 1930s bone shaker.

- Unless you can find some way of funding an alternative I'm very much afraid you will have to.