- Okay.

All right.

(laptop ringing) - [Counselor] Go ahead, Ally.

- Awesome.

Maybe you heard from Shauna in the last meeting, but the sentencing of Trevor's murderer was postponed.

(sighing) We have a new date.

It's next week on the 16th, and our impact statements were due today.

I deleted a lot of it and just kind of tried to compress it, and I was wondering if you would allow me to read it to you, and maybe you can let me know if it's acceptable for presenting in court.

Yeah?

- [Group Member] Absolutely.

- Everyone's okay with that?

- [Group Member 2] I would love to hear it.

- Okay.

I'm shaking already.

This is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to write and say.

Next month, on April 22nd, would've been our two year anniversary of being married, and just 22 days after that will be two years since he's been gone.

Two years since my whole wonderful world would be viciously taken from me in the matter of seconds by a stranger on the street.

On that day of that fateful night, I was the happiest I'd ever been in my life.

We were so in love.

We found each other at a peaceful protest in California and immediately became best friends.

I was ecstatic that he chose me to be his partner.

Never in a million galaxies would I have thought I'd end up settling down in Utah, no offense, away from the ocean, which is where I'd spent my whole life as a surfer and a scuba instructor, but that's how much I fell in love with him.

It was the first time in my life I saw my future clearly and saw a happy family (sighing).

I never knew how badly I wanted that.

(soft music) It's been two years and I'm finally moving out of this apartment.

This is the apartment that Trevor picked out for us.

These were kind of his claim to fame, these bonded shirts.

I would help him cut the fabric and pin them together, and then he would sew them.

They sold all over the world.

They partnered up with this fashion designer called Vivian Westwood.

It's pretty provocative, but that was the point of the style.

You would think he was really abrasive and loud based off his style, but he was actually so shy and quiet and introverted and just really soft spoken (laughing) while dressed all crazy.

I don't know.

He was fascinating to me.

He was so unique.

Yeah, yep, so every single one of these bins plus a storage space, plus his dad's basement I still have to go through.

That's okay.

I'm just really, like he was so proud of that business and I feel really bad that I couldn't keep it going.

It's weird.

I haven't been back since after seeing the autopsy, watching that video.

There's a CCTV camera right on the other side, and it got footage of it.

I didn't want to watch it at first.

Yeah, yeah.

My imagination, you know, would just run wild and picture the craziest things, so I just needed to know the truth.

But it's brutal.

He was stabbed lethally eight times, and it happened so fast, and then Trevor ran down the sidewalk and made it to Arby's, I guess, and got picked up by an ambulance there, and I don't know why Trevor came here.

♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪ ♪ Happy Birthday dear Trevor ♪ ♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪ (air blowing) - Anyway, I hope the sentencing kind of helps some of us.

I don't know if there's any closure, but maybe just help us emotionally move on a little bit.

I don't know how you guys feel about it.

- [Bryson] Yeah, definitely.

- [Shauna] I know it's a hard week.

It's hard to do.

♪ And you'll never walk alone again ♪ ♪ So much to gain, so much to fight for, so much to change ♪ ♪ You don't look back, you don't look down ♪ ♪ You gotta turn everything around ♪ ♪ You live your life ♪ - I don't really know why I stick around, but I had to see this trial through.

It's a conundrum because I'm a prison abolitionist.

I don't like our system of mass incarceration, but this guy will haunt me for the rest of my life, whether he is in or out, but if he's out, I will legitimately worry for other people in the community, other punks in Salt Lake City.

Yeah, that's just what's been on my mind, and now in two days I'll have to face him in court and try and hold it together.

Otherwise, the victim advocate Donna said she'll read mine for me if I can't get through it.

Yeah, I'm pretty ready to move on from that.

It was so impossible not to fall in love with him when I saw the way he interacted with all the animals at the animal sanctuary.

He was so gentle.

It was so sweet.

Even just the chickens, like the way he would just caress them so passionately and so softly.

How could you not?

He would've been the greatest father.

I would've had to be the less favorite parent, because he was just ridiculously gentle and sweet.

Our family would've had so much tenderness, but you know we would've also made them little activist fighters too, and punk rockers and musicians (laughing).

It would've been such a great little family, but maybe in the next life.

How do I explain to a court without sounding like a baby, just feeling sorry for myself, that I don't know if I'll ever be able to view the world as beautiful again.

- [Judge] Does Mr. Bellaccomo's wife wish to speak, too?

- [Attorney] Yes, Your Honor.

- [Judge] Tell me your name for the record.

- [Ally] My name for the record is Allyson Goddard, and I'm so incredibly grateful for all the love and care I've been shown through an amazing support system.

I truly am so privileged and humbled by all the effort to try and keep me alive and pick up the pieces of my shattered heart, but no amount of therapy can erase the insane horror of my story.

This was such a senseless act of violence that has challenged my faith in humanity.

As much as I want to believe that people can evolve and be corrected, I don't think incarceration will change this man's mind about right or wrong.

If he were to be released, it would absolutely cause me to worry for everyone in the Salt Lake punk scene and their safety.

Justice aside, that is truly what I hope will be taken into consideration for the court's decision on his sentencing.

Is that too long?

(gentle music) Did I talk too fast?

(gentle music) - [Judge] You will be sentenced to 15 years to life in the Utah State Prison to be served forthwith.

This is a life sentence.

(gentle music) (water trickling) (dog panting) - Ditsy, can you figure this out for me?

(object beeping) - So back and forth, when we drove Trevor to work, he would tell me about business and business plans.

Anyway, he wanted to learn to sew, so he came to stay with me and he started off with bathing suits.

- [Speaker] So I said, "Okay, you can get a tattoo."

And then he goes, "Which one should I get?"

I looked at all of them, I said, "None of them."

(crowd laughing) - He had the worst tattoos I've ever seen (laughing).

- [Speaker] And he did, and he got his tattoo, you know?

But my finest memories of Trevor and Bryson is, Trevor was two, Bryson was I think three and a half.

(gentle music) - Yeah, I'm actually amazed I was able to push through that.

I had no idea how weak I could be, and no one should have to go through that.

I just want to give myself from two years ago a big hug.

(Ally sniffling) We made it through.

(Ally laughing) ♪ So much to lose, so much to gain ♪ ♪ So much to fight for, so much to change ♪ ♪ You don't look back, you don't look down ♪ ♪ You gotta turn everything around ♪ ♪ You live your life like a loaded gun ♪ ♪ Because you're young ♪