- [Ed] They say, figure skates got four edges on each skate, and you're finding these edges and these moves.

You can make these really nice turns and then, the spot where there is no friction at all, where you can just start spinning.

It's like all your cares are gone.

You're floating like a cloud (chuckles).

(skates thudding) I've been down a couple times, you know?

Vietnam was a big down.

(somber music) You don't sleep over there.

There was people hunting you, you were hunting them.

There's no sleeping like that.

And so, that's why you did the amphetamine.

(somber music) Growing up in Montana, you were a good tracker and you listened.

And maybe, the smells of some animal, those traits, I was well taught and those traits kept me alive and, changes you, it makes you feel worthless.

How can I?

(somber music) Horrible, horrendous taking of life, what a man can do to another man, not a word for it.

(somber music) Pretty shitty traits, huh?

(Ed chuckling) (somber music) (child chattering) And I came back an amphetamine user and for 40 years of working hard, doing good, and it cost me a lot of years.

And Utah's where they dumped me off (chuckles).

Just started over again.

(Ed faintly exhaling) It's unbelievable for me to find ice skating.

You know, some say PTSD, you know, I guess we all got it to a point, but it just started driving it out of me, just from the quietness in your movements that you can do.

Instead of doing everything the army taught you, you could swing your arms and learn ballet on ice.

(gentle piano music) It was just something that felt good about it.

It just makes life beautiful.

So I took some nice beginning courses, to learn a little more and more lessons and more lessons and you're getting better and better and it just keeps getting better and better and better.

(gentle piano music) You start by little tiny things, you know?

And I can't quite do 'em as the coaches want you to, because you're older than they are.

They don't understand old, but you try to give 'em the best that you got.

You first get out there, you just try to get your legs in kind of a jumping jack motion, and your arms and you're leaning into your edges and so, you're turning and finding that edge on that blade.

Throw some nice spins and reverse and you know, you just... My mind takes over.

The coaches teach you all this stuff but then my mind gets it jumbled all up over there to do it old-school way, free.

You're just free out there.

(soothing piano music) You know, flying a kite off of a cloud, and here you're a butterfly, hanging onto that kite (chuckles).

(gentle piano music) Then it feels just like free motion, floating.

(gentle piano music) Makes me a happy person.

Yeah, I might have some bad days but the bad days are the good days, because they're over with and you'll do better on the next one.

Without the bad days, you don't know where your good days are.

(gentle music) I still, no good at it.

Bending your knees, and the more knee bend that you get, the better skater and control, and the turns are tighter.

And these knees have been well worked over the years.

It is curing everything from Vietnam, from me.

This body finally found something in training that it really, really loves, is that floating on ice and being able to use your hands, your whole body, your mind into trying to stay something that's beautiful instead of something that's harmful.

(gentle music)